My soul is a flake of silver cleaved from the Smith’s block;
I am roused from the dust by the wind of His footsteps as He walks by,
tumbling after Him, begging for His fire,
to be melted down and made into something He can use,
a ring for His finger, a cup to hold His water.
Anything, anything, to be close to You, my Beloved,
to be a crown for Your head, or a buckle for Your shoe.
I felt so connected today. Everything I talked to Hashem about on Shabbos – Bnei Noach, creativity, understanding what’s happened to me over the past five years – thank G-d, it’s materializing.
I had all these powerful revelations of very potent energy, and no keilim to keep them in. No way to anchor it here or to be anchored – and that’s the point of all of this. To anchor the heavens to the earth. It was all for the sake of healing, of awakening, of beginning. All the crippling pleasure, all those times I was convinced I would not – could not – return to my body. All the spirituality. And then it left. I was in utter darkness. A black, black night of soul for almost a year.
And all that was, the panic attacks, the pain, the inner death, was just an intermission before the most important part of the play could begin. The curtain rose and suddenly I found myself back in the blinding, glorious light. But now I knew how to handle it. I knew what to do with it. Now I could tell what was the truth and what was refuse from the external elements of my psychic universe.
And now I can have the highs and not be drained and wasted after. I can do. Just like I knew when I started everything with him three years ago, I would be anchored here so I could move in the world.
And I do. I am. Thank G-d.
I want so badly to see the beauty of things
to know the Love that speaks and sustains
I want so much to feel the Divine pulse
rippling beneath the flesh of the world
G-d I want to taste the sweetness of Your creation
to drink from the pools of light hidden in this earth
I want to hear Your words and make them mine
to sing one note of Your endless Song
Please G-d let that day come soon
where we lead the world Home
Please G-d let that day come now
where all mankind will return together
to the Palace of its King
to the arms of its Father
A few thoughts on Parshas Kedoshim, based on the teachings of the Rebbe:
You shall rise before the white-haired, and honor the face of the old man (Parshas Kedoshim, 19:32)
The Torah sees old age as a blessing and an asset, instructing us to honor the elderly regardless of their religiosity, and regardless of whether or not they are a member of the Jewish People[i]. As the Lubavitcher Rebbe comments, the many experiences and challenges that each additional year of life brings give rise to a wisdom that not even the most gifted young prodigy can achieve.
The Torah’s reverence for the elderly glaringly contradicts today’s attitude toward those in our communities who have made that dreaded trek “over the hill.” Those who can no longer perform and produce as efficiently as their younger counterparts are rendered useless and sent out to pasture. In Western society, a person’s golden years are too often rusted over by inactivity, corroded by the collective belief that the elderly are useless, burdensome. Universes of achievement, experience, wisdom are relegated to nursing homes and retirement centers, great souls possessing bottomless wellsprings of life are sentenced to cold fluorescent corridors and hurried weekend visits with family who have better and more important things to do.
Seemingly, today’s attitude is at least somewhat justified: it’s true that a person’s body becomes weaker as he or she ages. But isn’t this natural physical deterioration exactly how G-d programmed His system to work? Is a person’s value based on how many hours they put in at the office, or how technology-savvy they are? Is human worth determined by weekly paychecks and net worth and the size of a person’s estate?
One rectification of this spiritual illness comes through the fulfillment of another mitzvah found in Parshas Kedoshim:
You shall love your fellow as yourself (19:18)
The Alter Rebbe teaches us in Tanya[ii] that the key to fulfilling the mitzvah of loving another as oneself is to transcend the body – to see through the physicality of people to the G-dliness at the core of their being. When you choose to focus on a person’s soul, on their essence, instead of their body and their physical existence you are in actuality focusing in on the part of that person that is also you. Because in our supernal source, we are all one. This is how we truly and completely love our fellow as ourselves – by acknowledging that they are literally a part of ourselves. And this is how we heal the unfortunate view society holds of the elderly – by elevating the soul above the body, by honoring a person for the infinite, eternal wealth they have within, instead of for the accumulation of fool’s gold so many people waste their lives chasing during their transient tenure in this world.
[ii] Chapter 32
“The Arizal concludes by saying that this is why Satan considered Job a fair exchange for the Jewish people, and why it was not unjust that G-d offered him as “ransom” for Israel. Before his trial, he was the as yet unrectified Terah, the source of the evil of idolatry that the Jewish people were in the process of uprooting. But whereas the line of Abraham was on the way to receive the Torah, i.e., to replace idolatry with its opposite, the true spiritual path, Job’s task and trial was merely to renounce idolatry and remain true to G-d throughout his test. Since he thus represented the hope and perfection of the rest of humanity, Satan was satisfied to vex him instead of the Jewish people. Unwittingly, he thereby enabled Job, and by extension, all humanity, to reach perfection.”
Abraham “…was sitting at the opening of the tent,” referring to [our sages' statement] that he sits at the entrance of Gehinom and keeps whoever is circumcised and sealed with the holy covenant and has not blemished it from entering. (Eruvin 19a)
Abraham was the first Jew to be circumcised, and the covenant of circumcision is known to this day as “the covenant of Abraham”. Thus, whoever fulfills the commandment of being circumcised and guards the purity of his sexuality merits Abraham’s protection. Allegorically, this simply means that guarding sexual purity is sufficient merit to be spared the ordeal of Gehinom even if one has sinned in other ways that would have otherwise required that he undergo the purging process.
Now, this caused Terah to be reincarnated. When he returned, he descended as a woman and married according to leviratic law.
I.e., she married the brother of her deceased, childless husband. In such a case, the first child of this union is considered the child of the deceased man. Although Terah repented of his sin of idolatry before he died, he evidently had to be reincarnated in order to right his sexual sins. He thus descended as a woman – presumably to experience female consciousness and thereby realize the seriousness of having “used” women. As a woman, s/he suffered being childless and losing her husband. S/he then had to marry the deceased husband’s brother.
The key to the rectification of Terah’s sexual sins was the sexual purity and idealism of his son, Abraham. The fact that Abraham (re-)introduced the idea of sexual integrity into the world allowed Terah’s soul to be set straight.
“Job is complaining about his lot, and arguing with G-d. He answers him, “Where were you when I founded the earth?” In other words, G-d is answering Job that he has no right to question G-d unless he also knows from what part of the soul of Adam the spark that constitutes Job’s soul originally came. If he does not know from whence his soul was hewn, then he does not know his own history. Consequently, he can never fully understand the things that are happening to him.”
Iyov was a righteous Noachide – and his soul came from Adam haRishon. There you have it.
QUESTION: “I don’t understand the difference between a Jewish and non-Jewish soul. I have heard that Judaism sees the Jewish soul as divine and the non-Jewish soul as not.
Does the gentile soul live on after death also? Is there a difference with the two in what happens at death, and is there awareness after death?”
ANSWER: What you heard was a bit distorted. We believe that Jews are given an extra layer of soul, in order to accomplish all the extra commandments we have, and it is true that we call this soul “the divine soul”. But obviously, all souls are from G‑d, so all souls are divine in that essential sense. Souls don’t die; only bodies do. Souls go on to their reward and punishment, with Jewish souls being judged more strictly than others because of this extra layer of soul. It is, by the way, because of these greater expectations of G‑d upon us and the resultant stricter judgment that we are advised to discourage potential converts. The awareness of souls in the spiritual worlds is directed towards G‑d and the spiritual realms, not towards this physical earth.
Rashi translates “daas” – knowing – as ruach hakodesh… wow.
